


The Cartoon Beatles Go to Canada

by QuirkyTumbles



Category: The Beatles (Band), The Beatles (Cartoon)
Genre: Anachronistic, Canada, Crack, Gen, I'm Sorry, Parody, Stereotypes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:47:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27611606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuirkyTumbles/pseuds/QuirkyTumbles
Summary: The cartoon never had the band visit Canada. Time to fix that, eh?
Comments: 5
Kudos: 7





	The Cartoon Beatles Go to Canada

**Author's Note:**

> I had to take a break because of life, but now I'm back with... whatever this is.
> 
> Knowing the cartoon, I wanted to see what their ridiculously stereotypical version of Canada would be like. I'm Canadian, so it's probably OK, maybe! (I don't know French, though...)

It was a quiet day in the vast Canadian wilderness. Twenty centimetres of snow sat on the ground, and the forecast was calling for another ten that night. It was -10°C, and felt like -20°C with the windchill. Overall, pretty decent weather for the time of year.

The Beatles were huddled by the campfire in front of their rented igloo, wearing identical blue parkas. They shivered and looked down sadly at the flames, which were slowly dying down.

"W-We're gonna need more wood, fellas," said Ringo, his teeth chattering.

"Good thinking! You and George can go chop some more."

"Why us?" asked George. He pulled his faux fur hood tighter over his ears.

"Paul and I have some very important songwriting work to do," John replied matter-of-factly. "Besides, all the exertion will warm you up."

Ringo sniffled. "I can't feel me nose."

"Hold on," Paul whispered. "I hear footsteps!"

They turned towards the sound of snow crunching underfoot to find a fluffy white bear peering at them from behind their igloo. She crept towards them curiously.

Ringo leaped into Paul's arms, all his hair standing on end. "Aaargh! Help! A polar bear!" 

"Don't worry," said Paul. "She's Canadian, and Canadian polar bears are supposed to be very polite. It's the people you can't be too sure about." 

"Qu'est-ce que c'est?" asked the polar bear.

"What's that?" asked George.

"Oui."

"I don't understand."

"They speak both English and French here," John explained. "That's why there's French on everything." 

Paul smiled. "Hey! We have a song like that, don't we?" 

Right on cue, John, Paul, and George pulled their guitars out of their coat pockets, seamlessly segueing into the song. Ringo had to make do with drumming on the scenery, since drum kits obviously don't fit in pockets. 

_"Michelle, ma belle_

_These are words that go together well_

_My Michelle_

_Michelle, ma belle_

_Sont les mots qui vont très bien ensemble_

_Très bien ensemble"_

Slowly, a crowd of excited animals began to form, attracted by the music. By the end, they were playing for a crowd of not only polar bears, but beavers, caribou, geese, and a single mountie on a horse.

The band took their bow while everyone cheered, except for the geese, who all honked.

None of the Beatles were shivering anymore. Realising the performance had actually warmed them up, they continued on with the rest of their setlist.

* * *

The impromptu concert had been a great time, but not exactly profitable. Despite the fact that the animals were very polite, none of them had any real concept of money. All of them apologised on their way out. Only the mountie and their horse had been able to pay. 

The band stared at the single 20 dollar polymer bill in John's hand. It wasn't even enough to cover two big mac combos, let alone the igloo rental.

George frowned. "Why did we really come here, John?"

"Legal weed."

"Huhuhuhuh, yeah," laughed Ringo, and the other three quickly joined in.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, everyone.


End file.
